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Writer's pictureLaura Weiner-Kiser

IMPROVE YOUR ABILITY TO CONTROL YOUR MIND


Throughout your day you might notice a variety of different thoughts and feelings that pop up. A lot of those thoughts and feelings come up without us even realizing it.


And a lot of the time we don’t even realize that those thoughts and feelings are ruling our mind, subjecting us to all sorts of needless confusion and suffering. That’s what happens when we live life on autopilot.


The moment we let autopilot run the show and we CHOOSE to believe that the thoughts we have are actual facts, we are no longer in control of our own mind - we are subject to it.


We focus so much on trying to control things on the outside, hoping to protect ourselves from the FICTITIOUS threats our mind creates.


But what we need to do is shift our desire to control everything outside of us inward, towards our mind and learn to command it, so it can’t command us.


WHY DOES IT MATTER


Life is a precious gift, but sometimes we lose sight of that, unless we have recently lost someone we love. We get caught up in our own insecurities and desires and forget what life is about.


We allow protective emotions and thoughts to run our mind and our life experience, leaving us in a constant state of stress and suffering. According to the World Health Organization, more than 264 million people worldwide suffer from anxiety and 1 out of 10 humans experience depression.


We have a real mental health crisis on our hands, but are we doing anything to change it? As a Health & Mindset Coach I get to talk to people about this very subject and it’s disturbing how many people are comfortable in their anxiety and stress. The fear of change stops them from supporting their mental health and causes them to accept their suffering as a part of life.


But it doesn’t have to be.


THE NEW ME


Becoming a coach was a natural progression for me, from being a personal trainer to a nutrition specialist to then become a health coach.


But it was also the severe depression I experienced when I was planning my wedding.



My previous coping tools to make myself feel safe involved making everyone around me happy, and those tools were failing me. I couldn’t make everyone happy. I felt panicked and gravely depressed, I even started thinking about how to escape that pain through suicide. Knowing those thoughts were dangerous, I sought help through therapy.


As my relationship with my therapist grew, they encouraged me to look into coaching, because they noticed I was coaching myself in our sessions. That suggestion was the greatest gift that has ever found me. It is what helped me heal my mind and my heart. I used to live in that state of suffering, allowing my thoughts and feelings to rule my life experience, NOT ANYMORE!


HOW TO CHANGE


Life is the process of growth. We are forever growing, molding, and adapting. All I’m asking is that you continue to do that with INTENTION! And you only need two tools to get started: awareness and focus.


Before we can change anything, we have to be aware of it. Consider how you’d answer these questions:


  • Can you recognize when you’re experiencing a negative feeling?

  • Do you notice your uncomfortable experiences right away, or do you require the discomfort to build in order to sense it?

  • Do you hear the thoughts you think?

  • Can you notice your mind wandering in the middle of a meeting, listening to a song, or while having a conversation?


Answering these questions will give you a sense of where to start. You want to strengthen your awareness around when you’re feeling uncomfortable emotions and when you notice your mind wandering. By simply noticing that your mind is doing that, you create distance between the mind commanding you, and you strengthen your ability to command it.


Next, we need to strengthen our focus muscles. Many of us are blessed with five senses that help us understand the world. WHEN you notice you’re feeling an uncomfortable emotion, or you notice your mind wandering from a task, practice honoring your focus with a mindful moment.


In that moment you want to pick one of your five senses and focus your attention on that sense for a minimum of 10 seconds up to a minute. By simply focusing your mind on something specific like your sense of smell or touch, you strengthen your ability to resist the uncomfortable feelings that come with the lies your mind can tell you.


For example, you can rub your fingers together and notice how the ridges of your fingers feel. Focus on massaging your fingers together for one minute whenever it comes to mind. Doing these reps THROUGHOUT THE DAY will help strengthen your ability to command your mind!


COMMAND YOUR MIND FOR THE LIFE YOU WANT


The instructions I just suggested are easy;


1. Notice your mind wandering, or when you start to feel uncomfortable.

2. Practice a mindful moment by focusing on one of your 5 senses.


Considering the growing epidemic of anxiety and depression, if we don’t take action now, we are surrendering our life experience and ultimate happiness to the insecurities and perceived threats of our world.


As someone who was held hostage to being commanded by my mind, rather than commanding my mind, and having gone through the healing journey I can honestly say I’ve gotten my life back. And having the privilege of working with so many extraordinary people I get to witness them reclaim command of their mind as well.


It might take effort, and it might be uncomfortable, but I urge you to recognize you’re already making effort and being uncomfortable…..you’re just being controlled into those situations rather than controlling when you experience it.


Thus it comes down to choice, do you care enough about yourself to learn how to command your mind?


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